Easy A
by ppgzxrrbzforever
Summary: ok this is a south park version of easy a. Kyle's POV
1. Chapter 1

Easy A

**Well, I don't own any of these characters, though I wish I did, but sadly, I don't! anyway, enjoy!**

The rumors of my promiscuity have been greatly exaggerated. I used to anonyms invisible to the human eye. If Google earth was a human being, they couldn't find me dressed up as a 10 story building. Just another of what every high school student body calls, 'cute nerd with no potential.' Or, "obvious closet case' pretty cutting in stuff huh? A high school boy feeling anonyms. Wondering, 'oh why am I here?' 'Am I really just a cute nerd with no potential?' 'Will I never be loved?' ble!

Well, that's bullshit. This isn't that kind of story. Though, it sure started out that way. And then it changed pretty quickly when I started lying about some very personal stuff. My sexual orientation to be exact. So let the record show, I Kyle Brovflovski, being a sound mind, umm, quite on the short side, red hair, skinny, swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth… Starting now. And what better way to share my private thoughts than to broadcast them on the internet? So here it is. Part one.

**The shudder inducing and clichéd account, about how my supposedly sexual orientation affected my social life. **

Ok. But first, Let me just begin, by saying that there is two sides. And this is my side. The right one.

Friday.

So this is how it all began. The lie that started everything.

I'm walking through the halls of South Park high. Minding my own business books in hand. Until,

"Oof!"

Cartman and his little gang, of whom I presume is Butters, a blonde headed boy, quite shy, sky blue eyes, and practically a minion to Cartman. And of Kenny, also blonde, but with darker blue eyes. He's much more out going and… a pervert. Just what this high school needs. Yippee! Had to walk by making me fall to the ground and drop my books. Passing by me, looking at me with a smug face. I growled slightly picking up my books and papers. Meanwhile, my super best friend Stan, who is an openly bi-sexual football player, commented on my latest excuse.

"Dude, are you serious? Ashley? Out of all the god-damn people in the world it had to be a girl named _Ashley_ she doesn't even sound hot." he asked boredly. I finished grabbing my books and stood up.

"Don't worry dude. She's a total babe. Plus, it was my super best friend who said I need to… expand my social status, other than books and studies, so yeah. Just like you said?" I replied. Stan scoffed.

"Well yeah, but when I said that, , I was implying for you to go out with me, just to try you know? Hell! We're practically a couple already! We could do a lot of stuff together especially this weekend-"

"Stan, you do realize what we're talking about right now? We sound like total fags. We should be talking about football, and basketball, and stuff like that. Besides, you're my best friend and the last thing I want is to ruin this friendship. That and I know you'll just force me into going to those stupid family reunions of yours this weekend. Like I haven't been to a million already."

"But Kyle! I get sooo bored over there I need to be with my best bud so I can actually make it through those long hours of boredom! It's the whole fucking weekend!" He cried. I laughed as we walked towards the end of the school. It's not that I don't want to hang out with Stan this weekend, which I kind of don't, but, his parents are so weird. And I live in South Park, Colorado. Especially his dad. Always talking about crazy stuff, and coming up with crazy antics. Like I need that. Once I stayed over for dinner.

"_So Sharon, that's what I think! If we could all just pitch in, we could buy the margaritaville deluxe!" Randy shouted waving his fork in the air. Sharon and Stan pinched the bridge of their noses. _

"_Say Kyle, maybe you could loan me some money-_

"_Dad! Don't ask Kyle for money. Dads NEVER ask their son's friends for money." Stan said. Randy grumbled._

"_Well I do-"_

"_Yea but you shouldn't!" and, that's how a whole argument started, because of some stupid margaritaville. And I said never again._

So I lied saying I hade a date with some sexy Ashley.

"The answer is no, Stan. I've got a date with…"

"Ashley? You already forgot her name? And you don't even know the chick, and she doesn't even go to this school! Hey what if the date is a total disaster, it's just that, you've never really had the balls to ask a girl here at school out." Stan asked curiously. I scoffed. He knows I've tried asking girls here at school out.

"What if you play for the other team?"

"Stan!"

"You, know what? Don't go to my family reunion! Have fun with your so called Ashley. See if I care bitch." He said pointing at me. I laughed and patted his back.

"That's real good Stan"

**Ding! Ding!**

And that's the bell for home. I said my goodbyes to Stan, still believing I have a date with some hot girl Ashley this weekend. Though, this is how my weekend actually turned out.

Friday night-

I opened the door to my room. Wearing my Terrance and Phillip pajamas. I had just received some card from some random relative. Who sent me the card for my birthday. Even though it's not my birthday until the 26th. I opened it and when I did, there was a 10 dollar bill and,

_I've got a pocket got a pocket full of sunshine, I've got a_

I closed the card immediately. Making a face of disgust.

"Yuck. Worst song ever!" I tossed the card on my bed and then hopped on to the bed myself wondering why, would a relative give me, a card like that. Plus it was girly which did not help much because of the fact; I kind of looked like one. I put on my headphones, soon drifting off to sleep.

Saturday morning- I woke up tiredly walking down the stairs, to be greeted by my parents and my brother.

"Morning bubbe." My mom said happily not looking away from what she was doing. My dad was reading the newspaper, sipping on coffee. He looked up at me.

"Morning son. How did you sleep?"

"Fine." I said boredly sitting down next to my brother Ike.

"Hey, guess what I got on my English exam dude!" Ike told me while eating a piece of toast. I nodded my head waiting for an answer. Ike is really smart I'm sure he got 100. Ike is a super smart Canadian who's of course, a genius.

"100!" and I was right. I smiled rubbing my eyes tiredly. My mom handed me a plate of food and orange juice. I ate, and then went back upstairs. This is so boring.

Saturday afternoon.

"Do what you want but you're never gonna break me sticks and stones are never gonna shake me. Oh Woah Woah!" I sang quietly to my self. God. Reading about random science shit and singing to that stupid song is boring. I got up and logged on to my face book. Maybe I should've gone to Stan's reunion…

Sunday morning.

"I got a!" I opened the card just so I could say that part,

"I got a!" I sang along,

"I got a!"

"I got a pocket got a pocket full of sunshine!" wow what an irregular way to start the morning.

Sunday afternoon.

"I got a pocket got a pocket full of sunshine!" I sang while running my hands through my hair with shampoo. I grabbed the shower head.

"I got a love and I know that it's all mine oh! Woah whoa!"

Sunday night.

"TAKE ME AWAY! A SECRET PLACE! A SWEET ESCAPE! ON HOLIDAY! " I sang loudly dancing to the card. Making weird dance moves and jumping around my room. Until of course, the battery, I think, got wasted. I looked at the card awkwardly, closing it then tucking myself into bed. God I feel like such a fag.

But on Monday, when Stan asked me how my weekend was,

"She was nice, you know, she was a real sweetheart, you know it feels like I got a love and I know that it's all mine!" I told him. Stan scoffed.

"Well lucky you. You know how I had to spend my weekend? I had to hear my grandpa call me Billy; watch my dad discuss his newest obsession, and my sister hitting me on the head every few minutes. It totally sucked! So anyway, are you going to see her again?" he asked. I sighed nervously thinking of what to say.

"No, nah, probably not you know just one of those weekends" Stan stopped abruptly. I looked at him worried something might've happened. He grabbed both my shoulders.

"Dude you got laid didn't you? She definitely brought her friends didn't she! Woah I didn't know you had it in ya!" he yelled. I smiled nervously.

"Dude, you know I'm not the kind to hit that, then quit that, I'm not that kind of guy especially threesomes-"

"You totally did that! You liar! I can't believe you don't have the balls to tell you're super best friend you're a perverted slut who dressed up as a nerd just to cover up your indecency. you little cocky bastard"

I covered his mouth darting my eyes everywhere leading him into the bathroom.

"I didn't fucking get laid!" I shouted. he frowned. Then tapped his head, then looked at me.

"Dude, then you DO play for the other team!" he shouted. he looked as if he were about to pass out. I grabbed his shoulders giving him a confused look.

"Woah! Woah! Who said anything about me being gay?" I asked angrily. he chuckled.

"WH-what? What?"

"It makes perfect sense now! if she was as hot as you said she was, you would've totally banged her. Unless, of course, you…" he spun around the pointed at me.

"Played for the other team!" I scoffed. If he wanted that answer, so be it.

"Fine yes. I did have a threesome. Actually, foursome one of her friends brought a guy over." He jumped up and down excitedly, hugged me, and then looked into my eyes.

"This is so fucking awesome, yet disturbing, yet, still awesome!" he shouted. I smiled. I don't know why I did it. I guess it was just to prove Stan a point that I didn't need people telling me who I was or anything like that. I some how, felt… superior to Stan right now. And that's a pretty good feeling when you're a nerd, who gets beat up for no reason at all.

We heard someone walking out of the stalls, and then going to wash their hands. And it had to be, Eric Cartman. He looked at me with a smug face. Stan glared at him.

"What are you looking at fatass?" he asked angrily. Cartman glared at him then wiped his hands.

"Oh nothing. Just seeing the two fags have at it, while I am trying to keep my mind sound and pure." He snapped back. Stan was about to say something by I cut him off.

"Oh shut up you tub of lard! You don't even know, or care of what we're talking about!" Eric Cartman. Fat, manipulative, rotten and just plain evil. He's the vice president of the student council there fore giving him the 'athouratah' and superior to well, me the nerd.

"Shut up Jew! Like we need another little Jewish perv, running around our school. I'll have to have a talk with the president." I glared at him as he opened the door and walked out.

"What an ass" I growled. Stan looked at me. I shrugged at him, then walking out of the bathroom. If there was one thing I knew about rumors, they spread fast. And which leads me to part two.

The accelerated velocity of terminological inexactitude. This is my obnoxious way of saying that lies travel fast. And boy did my terminological inexactitude accelerate with velocity. Everywhere I went, eyes were on me. Every time I passed a girl, they would look at me with hunger in their eyes.

I see Cartman walking up to me along with Butters.

"Well, looks like someone has to watch where they say their deepest darkest secrets huh jew?" he asked smirking.

"Umm, yeah, about that, can I talk to you alone for a minute?" He looked at Butters.

"A-are you going to be ok Eric?" he asked sweetly. Eric smiled.

"Of course, see you later."

"Bye Butters!" I shouted.

"Listen, Eric, what you heard in the bathroom was not true at all. Actually it's a funny story-" he cut me off.

"Kyle. That's your name right?"

"Yeah we've known each other since pre-school. you're the one who brought back that whole Nazi against Jews faze."

"Yeah. I'm not the one you have to answer to for your depraved behavior. Theres a higher power that will judge you for your indecency." He smiled evilly pointing up at the sky. I frowned.

"Tom Cruise?" I asked wittingly.

"Hmm. I just hope for your sake, that god has a sense of humor. He's forgiven me, why not have him forgive you?"

"Oh I have 17 years of full proof advantage. I have proof he does."

"Hmm, you've made your bet, Jew. Not only are you Jewish, but, sleeping with people under the age, and being accused of a homosexual." And with that he stormed off.

"Does that mean I'm saved?" I called. So Cartman spread the rumor. For the first time ever, everyone had their eyes on me.

"Hey, Kyle looking good today" a girl said touching my shoulder slightly.

"Hi, girl I've never spoken to" I replied. And it's true I was looking good today. Instead of wearing my usual dress shirts, and pants, I was wearing black skinny jeans, all-stars, and a dark green v-neck. Plus, I'm not wearing my glasses. Instead I had on contacts. Hey, if this rumor is going to affect me, might as well go with the flow right? I winked at some girls, who giggled slightly. I even heard some dudes gasp slightly. Hmm, it's not that I

Tuesday night

"Mom, dad?" I asked while playing with my food. They looked up from their plates.

"Yes bubbe what's the matter?"

"You guys know I was here all weekend right?"

"Of course! You were upstairs in your room." I nodded. Ike looked at me.

"Hey I like your pants!" he said looking at them. I stared at them.

"Yeah. They're from Cosco. When you're a little bit taller I'll give 'em to you." Ike sighed.

"I'm never going to go through puberty" my mom patted Ike's back.

"Of course you are. We Brovflovski's are late bloomers."

"Yeah, but why does that matter? I'm adopted." Ike retorted. My dad slammed his hand on the fridge.

"Damn it! How did you know?" he cried turning around to face Ike. He walked towards my mom. Ike and I rolled our eyes.

"We were supposed to tell him when the time was right!" I took this as a chance to pipe in.

"So we all agree that I was here all weekend right?" I asked.

"Yes. You were here." They said.

The next day-

Remember how I said if google earth was a human being, they couldn't find me if I was dressed up as a 10 story building, well now, it could find me if I was dressed up as a crack on the side walk.

"Hey Kyle" a girl giggled.

"Hey Kyle my man! What's up dude?" some random guy I've never seen before put their arms around my shoulder. I shook it off.

"Hi, umm, person"

"Stay cool dude!" and then he walked away.

I really didn't mean for the lie to put me on the map, but being on the map felt… pretty good. I turned and looked at the students staring at me. they all gasped and looked away, as if minding their own business. I turned and smiled inwardly.

"Alright you little weirdoes today we're learning about impurity and indecency" Mr. Garrison said walking rapidly into the class

"Well! Would anyone want to start a conversation?" he asked angrily. I choked slightly. Well this is just great. Isn't it ironic how what you learn at school, somehow has to relate to what you're passing through in real life?

"I think it's about time we should talk about Kyle's new behavior? He's acting like a total perverted slut. Not even our Kenny would have a FOURSOME; hear me people, a FOURSOME with innocent girls. I hear you're hooking up with every thing with legs aren't you Kyle?" ok, that has gone too far. The next thing I know I'm punching Cartman across the face.

**So this was my first story, I'll defiantly be continuing it if it's good! I hoped you liked it, and please review! **


	2. Chapter 2

Easy A

**I don't own any of the characters and stuff so yeah enjoy!**

Ok. Not my best move. But it was provocative enough to land in the principal's office. I sat on a couch with a paper in my hand. Wendy, the school president was stapling some papers behind me.

_Staple_

_Staple_

_Staple, Staple, Staple_

I turned and looked at her.

"Seems as if some one is on a downward spiral." She stated angrily. I rolled my eyes and looked away from her.

"Seems as if someone is practicing the mandating activity she'll be settled with the rest of her pathetic life." I combated.

"I just hope the use of good sense and used protection!"

"Why? Your parents didn't"

"You're going to hell for getting three girls pregnant" she screeched.

"Good! As long as you won't be there."

"I can assure you, I won't!" she yelled. Stapling the papers harder. The door of the principal's office opened.

"I don't care who started it, just work it out." The principal sighed. One girl and a boy came out. The girl had a slap mark on her face, and she was bleeding. She looked at me, smiling sadly. I watched shocked of what I just saw. The principal took her glasses off and called me in.

"Brovflovski" she said angrily I got up and walked into the room, then sat down.

"So, why am I just meeting you? Behavior like this is, just unacceptable especially from you." Principal Victoria said looking at the paper.

"This is the first time I have done anything remotely misbehavioral."

"This is vile"

"Yes. Yes. I had no right to punch our vice president in the face. I'm sorry I'm really really sorry."

"Sorry you did it? Or sorry you got caught?" she retorted. I looked at her frustrated.

"Sorry I did it. Honestly. And sorry, I got caught a little bit too, but mostly sorry I did it." I told her looking innocent.

"If you show any action similar to the one today at my school, it will be your last you understand, Kyle?"

"Yes. Ma'am.-"

"I mean this isn't one of those, progressive schools, where the, the teachers are called by their first names, and that the students and the professors are all partners in learning. And there's a fundraising auction at the end of the year where the more 'creative' parent put on a musical at the end of the year! This is public school. If I can keep the girls off the pole and the boys off the pipe, I get a bonus. Now if your sent to me one more time, you're gonna be out. Do I make myself clear?" she looked at me waiting for an answer. I nodded my head rapidly.

"Yes yes ma'am. I, well most of it. I got kind of lost in the middle, but I found my way back."

"Good." She handed me the paper.

"Detention tomorrow after school Mr. Brovflovski." She pointed towards the door.

"Out" I nodded and walked away.

Even though it was my bad-ass alter ego who punched Cartman in the face, it was my ass that got in trouble which is a place where my ass has never been. Well, not alone. I walked on the fields my backpack weighing me back. Kenny walked up to me.

"Hey dude!" he said happily. I smiled.

"Aww, you waited for me? For a whore who fucks everything in their path, what a delightful gentlemen you are being!" I teased. He rubbed the back of his head and laughed.

"Hey watch it. You're becoming as bad as me. And besides being gentlemen is kind of my thing you know?" I laughed. We kept walking through the fields.

"Are you going to Token Black's party?" he asked casually.

"Umm, you know, I haven't planned on it no"

"Me neither. Karen is getting married next year and she wants us to rehearse the lines for the wedding dinner early." I shook my head. He then turned to his stop.

"See ya later. Kyle" then he walked his own way. Kenny's never really talked to me before. It must be cause' of the rumors. As I turned, a hand grabbed my arm. I yelped in surprise.

"Tell me the rumors are true!" Stan cried.

"Yes. I'm a perverted whore." He shook his head.

"Not that one! The one where you got all bitchy and kicked Eric Cartman in the balls?" he asked excitedly. I stood there confused.

"I worry about the way information circulates at this school"

"Stan, I need to tell you something…" he looked at me confused then hopefully.

"Yeah? What is it?"

"The thing I told you in the bathroom it's not true. That was a lie"

"Oh yeah. Great. Your secrets safe with me!" he said sarcastically. Then he left.

Back at home

I played with my peas. My hand on my cheek.

"I got sent to the principal's office today." I told my mom boredly. She served me some salad.

"Oh. Did you win a medal or something?" she asked.

"No. Not exactly. I behaved in an immature manner during English class. But In my defense, we were talking about something very touchy at the moment"

"What did you do Kyle? I know you can get a little angry sometimes but" my mom began. I put up my hand.

"I punched someone. But it wasn't even a hard one. You know." I told them. The looked at me and my mom frowned.

"Who?"

"Try to guess"

"Oh a guessing game. Umm let's see who does Bubbe hate the most at school?"

"Umm, that Butters kid?" my dad asked.

"No, he's sweet. My Bubbe wouldn't hate Butters"

"Oh how about that Craig?" I decided they couldn't guess. So I spoke up.

"It's Cartman." Ike laughed.

"Of course! The fatass. I knew it all along. I can't believe you guys didn't figure it out. They hate each other!" Ike laughed. I hit him on the back of the head.

"Hey, I don't, well yeah I do hate him."

"Well we're lucky that this is only a rare occurrence." My mom said calmly. I smiled.

"And what would my punishment be if it weren't rare?" I asked. My mom and dad thought for a moment.

"Ah. Got it no dinner!" my dad stated proudly.

"But I already finished eating so,"

"Oh! Oh! Another one! No dating!" my mom suggested.

"Yes no dating for you young man!" he agreed. I laughed.

"Oh that's great even though I don't even. Date. I don't know how to be punished as much as you two know how to punish." I said kissing them on the cheek.

"See ya!" I shouted from the stairs.

"Bye Bubbe!" my mom called. My dad sat down next to Ike.

"Where are you from originally?"

At school after hours-

So the next day I had detention which thanks to recent budget cuts, meant cleaning. I and that girl I saw the other day were mopping the floors of our school gym. I was looking forward to getting all this behind me. I had done the crime I was gonna do the time. And that would be that with that.

"Isn't there like child labor laws against this? I'm totally gonna break a nail." Red sighed. I smiled mopping the floor.

"Not in high school, the principal's like the captain of the ship of international waters." I looked up at her.

"Hmm." She said.

"We haven't talked in a while. How have you been Red?" I asked.

"Fabulous. I'm crushing it. Everything according to plan. I want to be in detention !" she shouted at the last part.

"Yeah why are you here? From the looks of it, that guy gave you a pretty bad beating" she scoffed.

"Oh it's a drama. That guy, who's name is Jason, doesn't like virgins, he says that he doesn't like being the one to do it with a first timer. So I started dating other people seeing if I could you know, loose my v-card to any of them, but he found out and got mad at me. Principal Victoria found my actions crude and inappropriate."

We walked to the outside basket ball court. She grabbed a hose, and I grabbed a mop.

"So what's with your new gangster, jersey shorsish look?" she asked. I laughed.

"Haven't you heard? I'm the new school whore, well man-whore!" I said posing. She shook her head and laughed.

"You know I did hear something! I also heard one of them was a guy. What are you bi-sexual like your friend now?"

"Ha. I guess so"

"I also heard you got herpes" I gasped. And looked at her annoyed.

"Gross. People suck."

Now we're in the girl's bathroom cleaning the writings on the bathroom stalls. Hmm so this is what a girls' bathroom looks like.

"I'm really confused you know" I heard Red say from the other stall. I looked away from the picture I was drawing of a heart.

"Huh?"

"I mean, you were so you know, you and now you're acting just like Kenny. Maybe even worse. What's up with that?" she asked. I sighed.

"Well, I guess you could say I was the one who kind of started the rumor"

"Wait, you started the rumor? About yourself?" she asked surprised.

"No! Well, yes, wait no. I told Stan I did it with those made up people, and Cartman happened to be there, so yeah." I stated defensively.

"That's really messed up."

"Huh? How?" I asked begrudgingly.

"Well you want people to think you're a perverted whore. It's pathetic!" she exclaimed.

"Uhh, no offense, but you could probably learn something from me RED."

"A-are you trying to imply lying to my crush about my virginity is the right way to go? Ha! That's ground breaking. You should teach a course at the the learning annex it could be called the painfully obvious by Kyle Brovflovski, your common perv. Ladies keep your cleavage showing!" She said in a squeaky voice

"Ok. First of all, bad imitation of me. And second of all why not? Have you not seen how popular I got? And you're just trying to get the attention of ONE person. Imagine how easy that would be! You know that Eric Cartman kid, he's like this weird stuck up fat Jesus freak. Who knows even that could be a lie!" she got out of the bathroom stalls and we looked at each other through the mirror.

"No. no I think he really just is a fat Jesus freak. And some of us are just trying to blend in to the crowd."

"Well, you either try to blend in to the crowd, or you just don't care" I stated simply. She sighed putting her head on my shoulder.

"I don't know whether you're a genius of a lunatic." She sighed. I patted her back softly.

"Yeah. I think those sort of go hand in hand."

Later that Afternoon-

"So you hear any words from your bed-buddies?" Stan asked curiously as we sat on the back of his dad's truck.

"Nope. I told you that it was a one night stand which is now over"

"Uh-huh. And tell me are you in love with any of them? I mean isn't how that's supposed to be?"

"Yeah, yes I believe so if I was a gossip girl living in a sweet valley of traveling pants, but I'm not. So I could really care less. And it really bothers me you compare me to girls all the time!" he laughed at me.

_I got a pocket got a pocket full of sunshine I got a love-_

"Nice ringtone."

"Shut up!" I told him.

"Hello? Oh hey!'

"Who is it? Who is it?" Stan asked curiously. I shooed him away.

"Yeah, I'm just here with my friend Stan." Stan smiled and got closer to the phone.

"Oh you know Stan, the football player? Yes, yes he's the ugly one." He punched me slightly on the shoulder.

"Yeah. Well, yeah. Oh nice"

"Wait wait! What does bbbee mean? Dude!" he started getting frustrated and tried taking the phone away from me.

"Hey, hey Red I got to go. Bye!" I shouted hanging up.

"What does that mean? Umm best bud, suave dude?"

"Foot long. It means foot long." I said annoyed. He looked at me skeptically.

"That's my identifier? Foot long? Yes! Yes! That's right!" he asked. He waved his hands in the air victoriously.

"Whooo Foot long!" he screamed to world. We laughed slightly,

"Well that was Red; she wants to talk to me about something."

"Hmm, she must want your advice. You're like Oprah. You always give advice to random people"

"Haha yeah I'm the white and male version of Oprah. Of course I'm better"

The next day, things took a turn for the scandalous which brings us to part three.

**A man's choice and a lady's agreement.**

**Ok. So that's all for chapter 2 I hope you liked it. And I know I didn't mention this before, but I might make this a StanxKyle thing. Or not I'm not sure. I mean I don't know we'll see how it turns out. So review, I love you all, see ya! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Third chapter of easy a.**

Red came to my house in her white motorcycle. She parked it outside my house and

walked slowly to my front door.

Knock

Knock

Knock

She waited patiently until my mom opened the door giving her a warm smile. She cleared her throat and stood on the tips of her toes for a second.

"Hi is there a Kyle here?" she asked nervously grabbing the ends of her hair.

"Oh of course there is." My mom said simply. She looked at my mom skeptically.

"Can I come in, or is this the wrong house?-

"Oh. I was just kidding. Come in! Come in." she stated enthusiastically pulling Red inside. Red stumbled a little on coming in but managed to maintain balance.

"Any friend of Kyle's is a friend of my son's!" she cheered. Red laughed nervously nodding slightly. My mom walked to the stairs closing the door on her way.

"Kyle! Bubbe there's a cute young girl, saying you asked for her hand in marriage and she said yes!" she teased I came towards the end of the steps.

"Oh happy day mama! I thought she was surely gonna' say no! I guess I am the luckiest man in the world!" I shouted running down the stairs grabbing Red by the hand leading her upstairs.

"She said yes hurray!" I shouted running up the stairs. My dad went next to my mom with Ike by his side.

"What's that?" he asked.

"Kyle has a girl in his room." She stated.

"A girl?"

"A girl."

"Wow. A girl?" he asked again.

"A girl Gerald."

"A girl?"

"Yes a girl.

"Wow."

I led Red into my room that was slightly messy. My bed was made, I had a couple of shirts and pants on the floor, and I had books on my bed, nothing too messy.

"Welcome. This is where the magic happens." I sat down on my bed.

"And by magic, I mean absolutely nothing"

"Do you want to have sex with me?" she asked suddenly. I practically chocked on my own saliva.

"What?"

"I mean, do you want to you know be my boyfriend for sometime-"

"I know what you said, but didn't you say earlier that you didn't want to lose your virginity yet?" I asked her.

"True, but you said to pretend to be a non-virgin so,"

"Yeah but I didn't mean by having sex with me! Do you know how pissed your boyfriend will be? He'll probably beat me up. I mean you're a nice girl and all, but you're not you know, my type"

"Yeah. You're not my type either. Trust me." she said pinching the bridge of her nose. Ok. Slightly offended.

"Alright no need to get offensive-

"Do you want to have sex with me or not?" she asked angrily. I jumped back slightly.

"God damn it girl you're aggressive and that's not what I meant at all!" I shouted. She stomped her foot.

"And you're a little pussy!" I walked towards my table and put my hands on them.

"You know I didn't really have sex with those people, I just told everyone I did. Well just one person but you know how these things are. Like wild fires."

"So you're saying I shouldn't really have sex, I should just say that I did?" she asked. I nodded my head.

"Yes. That's exactly what I'm saying!" I gave her a relieved look and she gave me suggestive one nodding. I looked at her weirdly what was she thinking?

"Oh no. Oh no. no no no no no!" I shouted putting my hands up in the air. She came closer to me.

"Please! Stop it! Stop it! Let me talk. Let me talk!"

"No! Absolutely not!" I shouted at her.

"Think about it! We could help each other out!" she pleaded.

"No!" I retorted.

"You could maintain this bad-ass sick-minded facade, I don't want to be made fun of or beaten anymore, it's a win, win, win." She said making movements with her hands. I shook my head quickly.

"H-how do you know, I like being thought of as a bad-ass sick minded pervert?" I asked angrily.

"Because you're at least being thought of." She stated intelligently.

"Just one good, imaginary, one night stand" she said. I stood on the tips of my toes to be taller than her.

"You are on crack alright and not the good kind!"

"Listen! I could pay you"

"I don't want your money RED!Why don't you just do what I did and make someone up?" I asked.

She sighed.

"Who's going to believe me?" she asked frantically.

"Hmmm? You don't understand how hard it is alright? I'm tormented everyday at- at school as like, I'm being suffocated and sure we can sit and fantasize all we want about how things are gonna be different one day, but this is today, and it sucks."

I started to see tears swell up in her eyes.

"Alright? There's only one way out of it, and you were smart enough to think of it so please just help me. Cause I can't take another day of this. I don't know what I'm gonna do." She finished wiping some tears from her eyes. I felt bad. I really did.

I grunted, looking around my room.

"I don't do anything half asked. Alright? It's gonna have to be a public Token Black is having a party. All your tormentors and your boyfriend will be there, we're going together."

"Oh thank you!" she yelled.

"And you have to do everything I say, and tell everyone, that I am sensational!"

"Thank you! Thank so much for doing this!" she cried hugging me tightly. I nodded.

"Yeah. And make sure you're ready to live with the consequences." I warned her. She clapped her hands.

"Ok." She smiled. I was frowning, but soon I started to smile too and layed on the bed.

_Night of the party_

The next night was the party at Token Black's house. He is the most popular boy in school. It's partly because he's black and has a cool afro, but it's mostly because his parents let him have these huge parties every time he catches them doing it in the pool. Which is every week apparently.

There was music playing loudly. Bunches of teenagers were going wild, drinking, humping each other, running around and falling the pool.

Red and I showed up when it was in full fling. I borrowed a tux from my dad, and she borrowed a dress from her mom, and we put on a little show. Token walked by us talking to someone else but then noticed us.

"Hey Kyle… and Red?" he asked confused.

"What's up?" I gave a fake slurred voice. I pushed Red a little to say her line.

"Hey, I hope you don't mind, but we had a few pre-cocktail party cocktails like before the cocktail party with cocktails" she told him. He smiled fakely. I pulled up close to him.

"So here's the sitch Token Blaaack!" I yelled in his ear. He made a disgusted face.

"I was just in the middle of telling Red a really funny thing which is really funny and I was wondering if there was like a room where we could go where I could finish telling her that thing that's funny if you know what I mean" he stepped back a little putting his hands up.

"You can use my room bro. Down the hall to the left." He said.

"Aaahh!" Red screamed cheerfully. I wrapped her arms around her waist and we headed towards his room. Red's boyfriend rushed up to Token and frowned.

"Is that Red and Kyle?" he asked angrily. Token scoffed.

"Yeah what the hell right?" he asked. Me and Red walked into his room saying random things. We looked in.

"Oh I love your room!" I shouted so Token could here. Both Token and Red's boyfriend rushed to get to us but I shut the door in time.

"Oh no no no! not my bedroom!" he shouted pounding at the door. I continued laughing until I locked the door.

"Close the shades" I ordered. Red rushed to the windows and did as she was told. I took off my belt and pants. She looked at me horrified.

"WH-what are you doing?" she shrieked. I shushed her.

"Relax. What's your problem you really think we're gonna do it? Now give me your thong." I told her. she gasped.

"Why?" I rolled my eyes.

"Just do as I say goddamn it!" I shouted. she took them off objectively and put them on the floor. I grabbed them and put them on the door so people couldn't see through the key hole. On the other side of the door bunches of people were piled up trying to get a look. Her boyfriend was trying to open the door. Red opened Token's closet to reveal bunches of purple sweaters with T's on them.

"Wow. All this time I thought we got through that faze of wearing the same thing everyday. Looks like Token always kept his cloths-

"Would you just come here pleases!" I asked hopping on the bed. She gave a silent 'oh right!' and jumped on the bed.

"K boots off! Get on chop-chop ok." I ordered.

"Alright. I'm going to grunt and you have to say, oh yeah and you know say my name loudly ok make it convincing" I told her. she nodded.

"Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Kyle. Kyle." She said bluntly. I laughed silently.

"I said convincingly not like some cynical ass-hole. Just say it with more power you know?"

"Oh Kyle Oh Kyle!" she tried. I shook my head.

"God you are pathetic!" I yelled. I knew I was going to regret this, but it's for a good cause. I leaned on her and squeezed her breast. She gasped slapping my hand away.

"Oh my god Kyle!" she screeched. I nodded approvingly.

"Keep going keep going!" she kept repeating my name and I moaned. It actually did sound pretty convincing. We stood up on the bed and started jumping.

"Oh don't stop! Don't stop!" she cried. I gave her thumbs up.

"I'm not gonna stop!" I shouted. She slowed down and breathed hard.

"I'm tired. We're gonna break his bed and we're gonna have to pay for it." She said tiredly.

"That's not helping! Their gonna get suspicious!" I told her. we continued that for about a minute until she stopped once more and had a smirk plastered on her face.

"Ok we need a grand finale." She told me. I looked at her confusingly.

"And what do you-"I couldn't finish because she hit me right in the balls. I yelled out in pain.

"Oh yeah!" she shouted. We got off the bed me holding on to my stomach. I pulled my pants on and I got her thong. She tried taking it away but I shook my finger in her face.

"No. I need proof we did it. You coming out without your thong is proof enough." She grumbled angrily. I messed with her hair and then with mine.

"Go forth. My friend you are no longer a virgin" I said exhausted from all the jumping. She hugged me happily.

"Thank you. So much." I patted her back then came out. Everyone cheered. Some dude I didn't know put their arm around me. it was Kenny. But before I said anything I looked back at Red who was kissing her boyfriend passionately. I shook my head.

"I thought you weren't going to be here." I told him accusingly. He shrugged.

"Yeah. My lines were short." I looked at him skeptically. He laughed. I joined in.

"Ok. Ok. How's it going" He laughed.

"I am- I am uh. I am here." I told him.

"Can I get you a root-beer?"

"That rhymed. I liked it." I pointed out.

"Yeah." He said looking back at some girls and boys who were looking at me. I frowned slightly then turned back to Kenny.

"I'm gonna go."

"You sure?" he asked me kindly. I nodded and started walking towards the door.

"Mhmm ."

"See ya' at school."

Maybe this is gonna sound stupid and believe me I wasn't expecting fireworks or a string corset or anything. Sigh. I always thought pretending to make a girl loose her virginity would feel you know, more special.

**Hi! I'm so sorry I haven't uploaded but I'm glad I had the time to write this story super quick tonight. Oh and I have to make a decision and I need help from you guys! What pairing do you guys prefer Style? or K2? Cause I don't know what pairing to make in this story. I love both of them! So yeah. Review and stuff. I love you all! **


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